In conversation with several married guys, their frame of thought made me physically take a step back because they truly believe IT IS OKAY TO BE SHADY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR WIFE.
. . . For some men, the marriage bed is a serious thing. These men do all they can to learn of their wives and then lean into them to make them smile day in and day out. The attraction-distraction of a man being drawn to a woman is a natural and beautiful thing. It is a distraction because the focal point of the man’s relational world should be the woman he has chosen for his life-long partner . . .
I listened to them complain about the things their wives are not doing for them and what they are not getting out of them. At this point in the conversation, I did two questionable things while allowing their words to interact with my opinions and foundation:
- I stood there and said nothing
- I smiled as if I agreed with their words
. . . Sometimes life is an uphill climb. It is only difficult when we choose the wrong paths and begin to take in all the scenery as if it were life-blood . . .
I gave into the idea that I might learn something that would enhance my marriage, and I did. I gained the knowledge that my marriage is on a greater path than theirs. As I came to understand that they want to look into other people’s gardens and sample fruit which does not belong to them, I learned that selfishness is a living and breathing animal.
It is a shame that their private actions mirror their public talk. Those steps, along a path uncharted in the garden God has given them, will result in them walking on and smashing all the seeds of the fruits that they should be tending.
Somehow, complaining led these guys to believe that cheating on their wives with strippers and co-workers would enhance their relationships at home.
. . . MARRIAGE IS NOT THE DOCUMENT RECEIVED AFTER THE CEREMONY. Marriage is a living organism that only grows when cultivated and pruned over the years. It is an awesome garden that should have two gardeners working together in a dance that cannot be duplicated, because all gardens are different and contain various fruits . . .
I shuddered as each described their wives as bitches, whores, and stupid—terms better directed at the men in the conversation then the women who shared their bodies with them and carried their children. To this day, I cannot find a reason that I should call my wife something that I would not want given to me.
. . . CHEATING IS NEVER A GOOD THING. The imagined gains that lie down that dark road, do not begin to balance out what can be lost when the plans and then the affairs are discovered . . .
In conversation with several guys at work, I thought, “THEY WILL NEVER COUNT THE COSTS because those things they desire in life are all about them and for their little private parts.”
. . . And that is a shame . . .
In that conversation with several guys at work, I was not caught in a bad position that kept me silent or made me afraid to answer. I was silent to respect their right to make their own choices in life. For their part, they did not keep silent. All commented on how many times I talk to my wife throughout the day and chose to assume that I am hen-pecked and whooped. That’s cool.
. . . In this case, my actions speak volumes when their bottom falls out and I am still married and in love with the same woman, because the fruit I have at home is very pleasing to my eyes.