Through this series on lust, it is our intent to deliver four varied perspectives on the actions and thoughts of the dutiful husband in an attempt to strengthen those who are struggling to keep house, home, and love intact.

The relationship I have with my bride, Callie, is based on my understanding of what she desires from our love for one another, the things she wants out of life, those things and conversations which make her fall in love with me on a daily basis, and what will keep creating smiles when she daydreams of when all the kids are gone and it is just she and I.


With all that having been said, it is my daily belief and exercise to COUNT THE COSTS if I would drop the ball and lose not only Callie’s trust in me, but also the trust and respect of my daughters, son, friends, and those that I stand in front of and teach on a weekly basis.

Lusting and then cheating is based on the idea that there is something out there better than the blessing God has chosen to place in my life to be my life. THERE ARE GOOD AND GREAT QUALITIES IN ALL WOMEN and for any married man to work to take advantage of their good nature shows his lack of care for the woman he has chosen to marry and call partner and spouse.

THE WONDERING EYE IS A CHOICE not a happenstance.

I work in an industry where the offices are inundated with women of all types and sizes. It is my choice to not notice them beyond their work role and position in the company. Yeah, I can see what they look like, but NONE OF THEM MATCH UP TO THE WOMAN I KEEP CHOOSING.

KEEPING BOUNDARIES IS ESSENTIAL if a man wants to keep his wife’s heart strong and intact.

My constant catalyst in conversation with my female co-workers is to drop knowledge that I have a good wife and that she floats my boat through all storms. This gives the conversations no avenue to go any deeper or get any more personal. I don’t discuss the issues of my marriage with any woman outside of my house, nor do I accept the negatives that some of my co-workers spew about their husbands. He was their choice.

A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT THE SEX; it is how one makes the other feel that increases the natural instincts to pursue and conquer.

Some may say that it is a good thing if a marriage goes through one situation of infidelity to grow the relationship. All that grows is the avenue to repeat the process and kill off the marriage in the long run. Others who I know have cheated try to tell me that, “it just happened.” Bull! That mess was weeks in the planning and execution.

In Ephesians 5:23–33, Paul lays down the role of the husband’s heart and mind through a list of actions that will solidify any marriage for decades. THIS IS WHY I CHOOSE TO MOVE TOWARD CALLIE AS AGGRESSIVELY AS I AM ABLE. Not because I am afraid to be alone, but based on my love and belief in Christ Jesus and the example He left for the church to follow. He counted the costs of giving up His life out of love; so should I on a daily routine. SO SHOULD EVERY HUSBAND IN THE WORLD.

Constant spoon sampling of sugar can cause a great deal of things to happen to the body:

  • An increase of blood pressure, dizziness of the mind, confusion in thought patterns
  • An increase of a slow heart rate
  • An increase of cholesterol that will block the veins of the heart
  • An increase in story-telling and missed appointments
  • A decrease in efforts of caring and maintaining

All of the above will eventually kill the individual and end the relationship that he has with his family and friends. This is why doctors for decades have been telling men about the need for constant and consistent exercise.

Here it is in a nutshell: it is the duty of the husband to feed into his wife’s emotions, her dreams, her conversation, and then listen to her and become her servant so she can fall in love with him on a day-to-day and hour-to-hour basis. Yeah, I did say servant. It goes this way: if the man is not willing to give up and give into his wife at home, there is always a Jody out there waiting to sample the sugar that is not being sifted at home. BUT HE WILL GIVE THE FEMALE CO-WORKER A BETTER CONVERSATION THAN HE GIVES HIS WIFE and wonder what is wrong with her; because, in the minds of some men, the problems at home begin and end with that woman.

It is my choice to pursue Callie on the same level or greater than I did when we were dating so no other man can encroach upon her heart or emotions and find a broken board in the fence I call love and admiration. Look at your own relationship and think on the items you have neglected and not challenged in your pursuit of your wife and then think on how long you will keep deciding to love that woman.

Lust and cheating is the choice of two individuals.

We all know that gluttony is a sin. It is defined and thought only of over eating. And this is a correct pattern of thought to have and then accept in the matters of lusting and cheating. THERE IS NOT ONE PERSON IN THIS WORLD WHO CAN CHEAT AND WALK AWAY UNSCATHED. Cheating is addictive and will call a man back to the plate. Counting the costs of a love relationship with a wife against thirty minutes of sex should be a no brainer, but there are those who think their whole life’s worth is based in the moment of climax.


I choose to live and love at a higher standard.

I choose to love my wife like Christ loved me.

I choose to die daily so Callie can live a happy life.


Join the Conversation

Join Odd Man Out, a blog about fathers following the father’s lead, written by Dan Ward, Mathew Panattoni, and Matthew Wimer. We delight in healthy disagreement expressed with fellowship and a desire for growth, and would love for you to join us.

Thank you for joining Odd Man Out!