“I am the man of the house and you cannot do the things I can!”
What is it that makes a man want to be and remain the champion all of the time? Is it pride, society, or something deep within this species that calls him to always want to be the King of the Hill?
Some may say that it is lonely at the top or that the leadership role of the family belongs to a person who can take charge at a moment’s notice and ride the storm into submission. There is not a leader in this world, past or present, which has not had the accompaniment of a submitting woman in his pursuit of success.
Submitting not because she is weak, not only because she loves the man she is with, but also because she believes in his talents and how much he is trusts in God to deliver all the things they are wishing and desiring as a couple.
The relationship is not a singular phenomenon, but a spiritual and physical connection that grants certain powers to those who move in trust, honesty, and commitment.
It is foolhardy to think that the roles in the house can work totally independent of one another. This mindset opens the door of frustration and breaks up the unity which is central to the foundation of the family. No one can make this journey as a couple with the mindset of keeping all things on a single man’s thought pattern. That is selfish, and will eventually lead to a life of being single and wishing to have your good woman back.
It takes a strong man to sit down and hold an open conversation with his wife about the challenges facing the family, and then listen and trusting her opinions and assistance in righting the ship most of us call FAMILY. In some corners of society, it is not respectful to make requests of the woman in matters of the house. But those who say this are either living alone or living in a deteriorating relationship and want the masses to experience the same failures that they are currently breathing.
It is my hope that in your choices to keep pushing your family forward that you take the hand of the woman you have fallen in love with and allow her to push you to the top of the hill. If you do so, she will not only see you as her KING, but will know that she is part of your total being.
Mark 3:25, 27 & Isaiah 49:24–25 gives the basis of how a home is protected. A home is protected by a strong man and he cannot be strong unless his captain and / or lieutenant is well-informed and prepared to back him up at the drop of a hat.
For most men, it is a definite challenge to put their trust into a woman. It is not that they do not love the woman that they are with, but this distrust has a foundation of brokenness from women in his past. Some men just refuse to shake this mental picture, attributing it to all women.
I like the King James definition of what the wife is in the relationship of husband and wife. It says that she is the Help-Meet. And defining this allows us to see and say that the trusted, well-informed wife meets her husband at all areas of his day and sometimes she will pick up the burdens of the house that may slip through his fingers to keep the marriage and home stable.
This is the part that most men will keep a secret. They do not want anyone in their circle to know that their wives have put hand to the plow and given credible assistance in their daily successes. Being vulnerable in a marriage makes the husband realize that he is not alone in raising the house into a home and creating a strong family unit that will have an impact on their immediate friends and social surroundings.
Let me use a sport’s analogy: for a team to become a strong unit, all members of the offense and defense have to open up and trust each member. But in the home, why is it so hard for a man to give into the love and trust of the woman he has married and she has willingly given herself to on a daily basis?
A man can be vulnerable with other men and accept and offer up trust for their unit to make it, but to the woman who has seen him naked and washed his “race-tracked” underwear, he simply refuses at the detriment of his children and home. Most will look at separation and looming divorce be the catalyst for working harder in finding other avenues in keeping the home together, instead of just opening up and allowing his bride to pick up one side of the wheel barrow so they both can push their treasures up the hill together.
Sometimes it takes a strong man’s release of power to breakdown secret barriers in order to grab the silver linings from every cloud.